Self compassion is the practice of extending the same kindness, care, and understanding to yourself that you would offer a good friend. Instead of self esteem where you may feel good about yourself only when you have hit certain checkpoints or goals (ex: my self esteem goes up when I have worked out more and am feeling stronger than when I am not), it involves accepting where you are right now and giving yourself unconditional love. Instead of harshly judging yourself for mistakes or what you feel you lack, self compassion involves acknowledging your suffering, accepting imperfections, and recognizing that struggles are a normal part of the shared human experience. You are not alone in your struggling, you would most likely treat someone else who was going what you are going through kindly, so why do we treat ourselves so harshly?
Here is a self compassion themed guided meditation for you – feel free to read this and follow along or have someone read it to you. I hope to record these eventually for my Youtube channel so they are accessible for you to engage in on your own. Please note that during the meditation you are prompted to think of a challenge you are experiencing recently. As you are most likely reading this on your own, please be sure to choose something that you have capacity to sit with and that you are safe in thinking about. The idea of this meditation is to practice kindness towards self to reduce the judgement and harshness we can be towards ourselves. Some challenges we experience are very big and can bring up big emotions or heavy thoughts that are better worked through with a therapist or other mental health professional. Meditation and self work is not a replacement for therapy ❤ Be safe.
Begin by finding a comfortable position. You may choose to sit upright with a relaxed posture, or lie down if that feels supportive.
Allow your eyes to close, or soften your gaze towards your nose.
Take a slow, gentle breath in for 4 seconds.
And a long, easy breath out for 4 seconds.
Again, take a breath in…
And breathe out.
There is nowhere you need to be right now, and nothing you need to achieve.
Just this moment.
Just this breath.
As you settle, bring your awareness to the sensations of breathing. Notice the rise and fall of your chest or belly. Let your breath be natural. There is no need to change it.
Take a moment to notice how you feel today.
Perhaps you feel calm.
Perhaps you feel tired, anxious, overwhelmed, or uncertain.
Whatever is present, don’t try to change it, see if you can simply acknowledge it.
Quietly say to yourself:
“This is how I am feeling right now.”
Allow your experience to be here without judgment.
As you continue breathing, bring to mind a challenge, struggle, or difficulty you have been carrying recently. Choose something that feels manageable to work with in this moment.
Notice what happens in your body as you think about this situation.
Where do you feel it?
Perhaps there is tension, heaviness, tightness, or discomfort.
Without trying to fix anything, simply offer your attention.
You might place a hand on your heart, your chest, or another place that feels comforting. Feel the warmth and support of your touch.
Now gently acknowledge:
“This is a moment of suffering.”
Or:
“This is hard right now.”
Allow yourself to recognize the reality of your experience.
There is nothing weak or wrong about struggling.
Being human means encountering pain, disappointment, uncertainty, and loss.
Take a breath and remind yourself:
“I am not alone.”
“Others have felt this way too.”
“I am part of our shared human experience.”
Notice if this recognition softens anything, even slightly.
Now imagine speaking to yourself as you would speak to someone you deeply care about.
What words would you offer them?
What tone would you use?
Perhaps you might say:
“May I be kind to myself.”
“May I give myself the compassion I need.”
“May I accept myself as I am in this moment.”
“May I trust that I can meet this challenge with courage and care.”
Allow these words to settle within you.
There is no need to force yourself to believe them completely.
Simply plant the seeds.
With each breath, imagine compassion flowing toward the parts of you that are hurting, exhausted, afraid, or uncertain.
Let your breath carry warmth and gentleness inward.
Take a deep breath in, and a deep breath out. Repeat this four times and with each deep breath in imagine you are seeing and feeling sunshine warming your skin and bringing joy. With each breath out imagine you are releasing self judgement and resistance, perhaps this is a darker smoke rising out of your body.
For a few moments, rest in the feeling of offering yourself kindness exactly where you are. Whatever you are experiencing is not right or wrong, it just is.
As this meditation and practice of self care comes to an end, take a deep breath in and slowly release it.
Before you continue with your day, offer yourself one final message of compassion :
“May I remember that I am worthy of love and kindness and may I carry this compassion with me throughout the day.”
When you are ready, slowly open your eyes.
Hopefully you can take some kind words with you throughout the rest of your day, and perhaps you can reflect at the end of the day if you felt different or if you thought about certain situations differently
xo all the best
Be Your Own Sunshine 