If you’ve been following along my self care challenge, or if you’re new to this post, 6 days ago I decided to challenge myself to 10 days of self care activities. The hope was to care for myself in this transition between programs at work, and to get into routines of self care…. But it’s become so much more!
As the title hints, self care today was working through regulation and being kind to myself. We had to head into town to replace our car battery which had died yesterday. We are very lucky that my wife’s uncle has a mechanic shop and was able to get one of his employees to replace our battery for us! As we were in town, we stopped to grab a coffee and then grab my brother in laws prescription – while doing this my wife asked if we could head home tomorrow instead of tonight.
I’m reading about pediatric anxiety right now, and one of the chapters talks about size of the problem and flexibility in thinking. Today I really had to actively focus on my flexibility of thinking when my wife suggested that slight change in plans. For context, I have anxiety and am quite certain that I could be on the autism spectrum, and this last week of me being quite dysregulated due to transitioning between seasons has really shown it. On Sundays I usually like to “blob”, as I call it, meaning I take time to prep for the work week and then do whatever my heart needs to feel calm before bed. When I’m away for the weekend I need to make a plan b for the organization of my week – when I’ll do groceries, make my lunches etc.
It was in that moment when she asked me about going home the next day, that I could feel my amygdala take over and I flew into a panic. How would I fit in my blob time AND laundry AND grocery shop AND make lunches AND AND AND….! Even with my wife’s reassurance that she would grocery shop and make my lunches so I could focus on the other things, it took me some time to regulate my emotions and then make a plan C that I could accept. It was interesting to relive all of this hours later as I am reading my book about pediatric anxiety and could walk through every mental gymnastic move I needed to go through to actively work through the emotions and problem solve my stress away. No wonder kids need co-regulation! We can’t expect young kids to calm themselves down on their own!
Anyways, that may be a soapbox for another time, but I was able to breathe, to fidget, to walk around and logic through it. My wife was patient, got me an iced coffee and answered my repetitive questions to help me feel calm. It took time but the rest of the day WAS in fact lovely once I was calm and I was able to do nice things for myself! I tried practicing the self compassion I always preach to my clients, and allowed myself to read on the dock in the Sunshine and play bananagrams with my wife and brother in law!
I think something that has been a consistent reflection and learning piece these last days has been the difference between having that compassion for myself and not. Things don’t always go as planned, which for me is very hard, but when I don’t have compassion for myself I hyperfixate on the negative and ruin the rest of the day overthinking! When I’m able to self care in terms of positive self talk, affirmations and being forgiving to myself, I’m able to turn the day around and do nice things for myself and make positive memories.
It’s been an interesting journey and I truly enjoy using this as my journal (I hope it can inspire at least one person!)
Ideas for tomorrow: Tomorrow we’re driving back home and my wife promised she’d do the groceries and make my lunches because we were supposed to be heading home tonight. My self care tomorrow, as it’s Sunday, will revolve around setting myself up for success for the week! I’m hoping to get the laundry done, pack my therapy bag for my Tuesday private client that I’ll have after my full time job, and walk to the gym to get a membership! I’m hoping we’ll be able to spend some time at the beach in the sunshine as well ! A staple to my self care has become me curating my Sunday to be specifically tailored to avoid the Sunday scaries and be ready for a marvellous Monday 🙂
Do you have any self care rituals that you do to prepare for the work week?
Be Your Own Sunshine 