At the end of the year, most people will feel like they need to set goals, reflect on all the amazing moments and (unfortunately) compare their memory collages on instagram to others. Because what is more fun on New Years Eve than ringing in a new year by making yourself feel like your year was worse than others?
That first paragraph already sounds so jaded and like a Debbie downer, but hang in there, let me explain. This year was a hard one for me, and in watching the news, talking to family and friends and connecting with people, I know it was a hard one for MANY. This year I wanted to write a post to hopefully normalize the challenges of the year and take away some of the pressure from the new year. As they say on tik tok, I’m here to “de-influence” you from the trends or traditions that we are so connected to as a society.
Every year as the end of the year comes closer, we are flooded on social media with Christmas gift hauls, 2024 recap videos and photo collages and posts about how grateful people are for the amazing memories of their year. It is a beautiful thing to look at and so fun to be able to share, but sometimes this can be difficult for the people who may have had a hard year and are still having hard times. The new year does not magically start fresh and get rid of the challenges you are experiencing and that is ok! It is also important to remember that when we are looking through all these beautiful posts and videos, we are only seeing the extremely edited versions of people’s lives. Believe me, I have so many fun photos from this year, but you don’t see the heartbreak and dramas that were also present.
This year, let’s welcome a gentle new years eve, whatever that may mean to you. The holidays are a hard time already with anticipation and expectations, challenges with family, missing people you love etc. To put so much power on one evening can be very overwhelming. Here are a couple ideas you can try if you are someone that may not be feeling very happy about the new year:
Have an intentional cozy night in
New years in media always depict fun parties, champagne toasts, fancy clothes, kisses at midnight and overall romance for the new year. This can be hard to be excited for if you maybe don’t have access to parties, maybe don’t have a relationship, feel lonely this time of year, are feeling extremely low in your emotional capacity etc. Why does that have to be your new year?
This year, create an intentional cozy night in so that regardless of what your plans are (or aren’t) and who you may or may not be around, you can still enjoy this night as a treat to yourself but without the pressure of glitz and glam. Perhaps set out some snacks, choose some fun hobbies, maybe make a fun cocktail or mocktail! Have a non holiday related movie marathon, read your favourite book, play a video game, do some crafts, whatever your heart desires! Dress in your coziest clothing and settle in for an enjoyable night without worrying at all about New Years expectations!
Choose who you are surrounding yourself with intentionally
This seems silly to write, but sometimes it can be overwhelming to welcome in the new year with certain people. I don’t mean you don’t like these certain people or that you are choosing to surround yourself with bad humans, I just mean if you are in a space where comparison is the thief of joy, surrounding yourself with people who may pull out a lot of hard feelings unintentionally may be challenging. If everyone you are hanging out with is in a couple for example, or perhaps had a fantastic year and you didn’t, or perhaps they are all wanting to party and you are burnt out, this can make the night a harder one.
Take time to reflect on how you are feeling and what is going on in your life and plan your new years eve accordingly. I have been quite anxious in anticipation about the new year because of everything going on in my life and in the world this year. I started thinking about my plans way earlier than usual. When talking about it, my friend said something that stuck with me this year – “I don’t want to go out just because it’s new years, I can party any time”. This was a lightbulb moment for me as I put so much weight on new years just like everyone else, and realized that after this hard year, I would be so much happier just sitting with this friend and having snacks and playing video games! And that is what I will be doing.
Skip new years resolutions!
I have always found New Years resolutions to be slightly overwhelming as we set these goals for the new year and then so easily feel like we failed if we didn’t complete them.
If you love a resolution, of course set them! I love setting goals, I think my big hang up is setting goals BECAUSE it is the new year and feeling like we have to change because the new year is rolling in.
Instead of resolutions, I have a couple ideas you can use instead! One of my favourite trends right now is the 2025 Bingo Card. With my adult therapy clients I have actually used this bingo card idea in the past to take away the pressure of goal setting and to make it more fun as you try to achieve whatever is on your card! This year I was so excited to see it become a trend on Tik Tok – so there are plenty of videos you can watch if you like! The big thing that I do differently for Bingo cards instead of goal setting is making them small achievable goals. For example, instead of saying you are going to go to the gym every day, your bingo card might have a smaller goal like “10 gym visits” and then you get to cross it off when you hit it! (We love a little dose of dopamine too when you cross it off). You can have small fun things like visiting a beach, going to the mall with friends etc so that it becomes more of a fun goal setting than something scary. Maybe you even do it with friends and see who can check off the most on their card!
Another idea for resolutions could be an opposite resolution – where you are getting rid of negative energy or removing certain habits from your life. Some cultures have traditions where they write down things they don’t want to take into the new year with them and then (safely) burn them to symbolize their removal from their lives. This could be a nice symbolic way to celebrate making it through the year and looking forward to positives in the new year.
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Whatever your year looked like and whatever your new years plans look like, I wish you a gentle new year. I wish you all the health, happiness and softness in the world. May you know you deserve good things, that it is ok if things are hard right now, that you are not alone and that life is short yet long so make the most of it in the way that suits you best.
Sending love for 2025 ❤
Be Your Own Sunshine 