As the new year begins, people are often jumping into setting big goals and making intentions for big changes. Often times if you have finished off the previous year in a less than energetic emotional state, this may seem way to optimistic and peppy. This year let’s try things that are a little smaller and a little simpler to calm our nervous systems and hold space for our emotional and mental state, and perhaps even make life easier!
As a neurodivergent occupational therapist who works with neurodivergent individuals, I am very aware that sometimes basic activities such as sleeping, brushing your teeth or making food can be draining and exhausting. It sometimes can be hard to find the brain power to complete things. We may find that it is challenging to start or complete a task, and if we can’t find the energy to get ourselves through a task, it may not happen. Our executive functions heavily depend on our energy – this is why when someone says their depression affects their appearance or brushing their teeth, it is NOT just laziness.
Something that I have found helpful for myself is creating a solid morning and evening routine that almost becomes automatic and ritual. Recently I read an article about how you shouldn’t be making things automatic because it takes away from the mindfulness of your life experience. For someone who struggles to even complete a small task, there most likely isn’t mindfulness or enjoyment in these moments regardless. For someone who struggles to complete a task, it can be freeing to have it be one less thing to worry about. In the past year, I have increased so much of my hygiene and self care routine because it has become quite rigid and ritualistic so I don’t even think about it!
Starting a morning or evening mental health routine that feels manageable is all about simplicity, consistency, and self-compassion. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the idea of adding something new to your day, especially if you’re already juggling a busy schedule. However, I like to think of it as compiling a few tasks you already probably do (or want to do) into an easier version that is easier to start and complete!
Something I want to make clear is this – my morning and evening routines are specifically made up of things I HAVE to do, and sometimes I may journal before bed, but I am not adding anything that is not necessary. I have always needed to have a skin care routine but was never able to make the time or energy to do it, so that is the one thing I have added…. don’t feel like you need to journal, do yoga, meditate for 10 minutes etc before you start your day for it to be impactful for your mental wellbeing.
Here are some steps to help you create a routine that fits seamlessly into your lifestyle:
1. Start Small and Gradual
The key to sustainability is not overloading yourself with too many new habits at once. Begin with just one or two practices, and gradually build from there. For instance, you could start with a 5-minute mindfulness exercise each morning or an evening stretch routine before bed. These tiny actions can create a ripple effect and make it easier to add more over time. If that already sounds like too much, maybe you need to go even smaller. My morning routine doesn’t involve movement or mindfulness. It involves me not checking my phone, grabbing my Kindle and walking straight to the bathroom to start getting ready while reading. I have a specific order of items that I use to brush my teeth, wash my face and apply lotion and sunscreen (all year, I work outside!), and my Kindle distracts me so I am able to actually complete every step! You don’t need to worry about journalling or stretching before your day starts if that is way too much already
Remember, no one is judging (at least they shouldn’t be) the way you get ready in the morning! Do what you need to do to start your day.
2. Anchor Your Routine to an Existing Habit
One of the most effective ways to integrate a new habit is to tie it to something you already do regularly. This is known as habit stacking. This is one of my favourite things to do and I don’t only use it for my morning and evening routines, but also for any task I struggle to do. For example, if you always have a cup of coffee in the morning, you could use that time for a few minutes of deep breathing or gratitude journaling. If you are someone that typically checks your emails in the morning, perhaps you do it on your walk to the bathroom or while you are making breakfast. Perhaps at night before you go to bed you fill your water bottle as you take your medication so you have it ready for you in the morning. Stacking small habits together can help keep the momentum to continue to complete your goals.
Outside of a morning and evening routine, I use this strategy for other self care things too. Since I leave work at 4pm and drive an hour and a bit home, I tend to not have much energy to do productive tasks when I arrive. Now I have figured out if I need to grocery shop, go to the gym, or complete any non work related tasks, I have found places to do this by my job so that all my energy is used before I slow down in the car! It makes things much easier to continue with my momentum than to stop and having to start again (executive functioning challenges often include having a hard time starting a task so I skip that challenge by doing that!)
3. Be realistic with yourself
Something that I find makes morning and evening routines inaccessible is the assumption that you have the time to do these things. For the most part we can make time to do what we need to do, we just may have to sacrifice some things. As you are starting with your mental health morning/evening routine, think about the bare minimum of what you have to do and also what you are willing to sacrifice. For example, I wake up at 5:50am, leave the house at 645am, drive an hour and a bit to work, and work a very active and emotionally draining job. I am not willing to sacrifice any of my sleep to wake up earlier to add yoga into my routine. In the same vein, think about your evening plans, if you are someone who likes to spend time with friends and family in the evening, don’t create an evening routine that requires you to cut off that time if that will take away from your wellbeing. Be realistic and add what you think benefits you without taking away too many other beneficial things in your life.
4. Incorporate Activities That Feel Good
Your routine should include practices that resonate with you personally. It’s not about forcing yourself to meditate if that doesn’t feel natural, or writing if you’d rather not. It’s not about adding 20 different face serums to create a skin care routine. The goal is to find activities that genuinely help you feel grounded and ready for the day.
Make your routine enjoyable! If you have a hard time getting in the shower, create a shower playlist! My friend has a playlist that exactly fits the time of her showers so it helps her prompt getting in AND out. I like to read while I’m brushing my teeth to prevent discomfort from the sensory experience of the toothbrush. Maybe you watch a show to help you fold laundry. Whatever works for you and helps you is best!
5. Be Flexible and Kind to Yourself and DON’T track your progress!
It’s easy to get discouraged if your routine doesn’t go perfectly or if you miss a day. This is why I don’t recommend you put the pressure on to track your goals. Every day is the first day of your goal where you just try to complete as much as you can. Some days, your routine might feel like a breeze, while other days, you may struggle to find the energy or motivation. That’s okay. The key is not to be hard on yourself. If you miss a day, simply pick it up the next day without judgment. I often find that it is easy to give up on trying to complete a routine or create a habit when you are tracking yourself because it is like you failed and it’s hard to start again. When you fall off track, practice self-compassion. Instead of focusing on what you missed, acknowledge your effort and try again tomorrow.
Final Thoughts:
Building a morning and evening routine doesn’t need to be an overwhelming task. By starting small, creating a sense of enjoyment, and focusing on consistency rather than perfection, you can create a routine that works for you. Over time, these small steps will accumulate into lasting positive change.
Remember, the goal is to create space for yourself, to care for your mind, and to find moments of peace in the chaos of everyday life. At the end of the day, your goal should just be to make each day as easy as possible so you can find moments of joy. If you are able to create a routine that saves you some energy to do something fun later in the day, I think that is a beautiful thing!
Do you have a routine that helps you throughout the day?
Be Your Own Sunshine 