In 2020 I started my Coffee date catch up posts as a way to connect a bit with my readers and to reflect on my own thoughts and experiences from the last little while. It’s been a full month since my last post and OH MY LANTA how things have changed!
Last time I wrote a post, I had started a new job and was navigating all the nuances of a new role while also working with my pediatric clients from my private practice. I was learning, growing, connecting with clients and realizing that even though I didn’t feel like I could “connect” with clients, that I really could! I love spending time with my older clients and I think that I could definitely see myself working with this population in the future……
Here’s what happened in my life in this past little while:
- I’ve actually given my notice to that new job that I got in December…. I sent in my email last week saying that I would love to go casual if they would have me, but if not I would like to put in my notice for the end of the month. I’ve had many realizations this past month including that I LOVE to work with older adults, but if I do continue to work with them, I want it to be in a more long term position. My visits are very limited to physical conditions and the recommendations of equipment and resources, and assistance to get funding. It is hard for me to go into a home, give recommendations, realize they can’t afford them…. and then leave. Regardless of this however, I could have stayed longer – I knew coming into this job that I would not be staying here FOREVER because the timeline for client relationships was too short and I did not have the freedom to bring my creativity and work with clients about what they WANT to do or are passionate about. So why quit so soon? Self love…..
- Self love happened this month, in the form of realizations of self worth and continuing setting boundaries as I mentioned in my last Coffee Catch Up post. I realized that I was feeling extremely overwhelmed in my job, and the person who was supposed to be training me seemed as though she saw me as a chore. Her expectations were very black and white, where my style of therapy did not seem to fit her idea of therapy, even though my clients enjoyed me being around, would listen to my recommendations and respect me. I had to always push to get more information, and at one point (near the end of my wits), I was told by her that I shouldn’t be asking colleagues for help as she didn’t trust they had the right answer and I should be always asking her. As a person who thrives in a collaborative setting, working in what is SUPPOSED to be a collaborative role, I found this very strange as I work collaboratively with my former classmates across the country to share information. After receiving some pretty rude and aggressive emails from her which belittled my capability to perform my job, I spoke to my supervisor who acknowledged me but also told be that she was my lead for the extent of orientation (which is 6 months and I was on month three). I spoke to every friend, family member, and even my manager from my other job and came to the conclusion that this job was more stress to me than it was worth and I was valid in my feeling not appreciated and belittled. Since sending the email, I have gotten no response from my supervisor, but my clinical lead seems to know something is up as she cancelled our shadow visit for next week. However, I FEEL lighter, more like myself again and my fiancee said that the grumpy, dull, sad and overwhelemed energy I had since taking this job (honestly I had no idea), has faded. So moving forward, I know my worth and that I was good at this job and I should never be made to feel like asking for help is wrong.
- I am not one to say that the universe sends you what you need, I mean in some ways it does but you also need hard work…. but this last week has really had some universal messages. As I was feeling that I needed to move away from this job, my friend started creating preschool worksheets she is selling online, which was super similar to my idea of creating pediatric occupational therapy worksheets and activities for an Etsy shop. My manager of my pediatric job said when she heads away from work for a bit to have her baby, she would want to send me a bunch of her clients, another OT I have connected with asked me if I wanted to chat about starting some weekend programming out in nature and taking on some OT clients with her, and the studio I teach yoga and dance with reached out and asked if I want to teach some extra dance classes! So in the meantime while I look for new jobs, it looks like I’ll still have some projects to work on!
- On another note, my mom started hosting virtual cooking classes with some of our friends and family and it made me so happy! She has been cooking like a fiend since my sister and I are both out on our own and she has more time. I have been trying to get her to think about teaching people how to cook but she never thought it would work – so this isn’t cooking for anyone outside of our humans, but we had such a great time and it was so nice to connect with my humans without being forced to engage in small talk all the time via zoom! We made Ravioli from scratch, filled with home made tomato sauce and riccotta…. I forgot to buy the right kind of flour, so mine didn’t work out, but I baked them and turned them into mini pizza pockets! So delicious!
My mom also ran another class yesterday while I was at work, making home made riccotta gnocchi, and then dropped off some for my fiancee and I to try. INCREDIBLE (and some sourdough bread too!) I can’t wait until the warmer weather comes and we can actually eat together in person in the backyard instead of over zoom, but I’m thankful this is an option for now 🙂 What should we try to make next!
- OH AND A FINAL EXCITING PIECE OF NEWS! I got my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine this past week! I jumped on the opportunity to get my vaccine when offered, and it was so well organized and quick! I didn’t feel any side effects (except soreness around the vaccination site), though I did get pretty emotional after getting the vaccine as I thought about how hopefully the general population will be able to get their vaccines soon and things might change! I live in a city where there is a high population of health care workers, so we are still on the health care worker vaccinations, but some of the places around our city is starting to vaccinate the general population over 80 years old, and it brings me hope.
I hope you are all doing well, if you’re still reading these blog posts THANK YOU for joining me, I appreciate your interest in my random life stories and realizations! Feel free to share your stories and realizations in the comments 🙂 Good or bad, sometimes it’s nice to share even with people you don’t really know!
Thank you thank you! And as always, Let’s end with another cute video! This one is not a video necessarily but an ambiance – this week my fiancee decided to paint our room white on her reading break, so we have been sleeping in the living room. Last night I thought it would be cute to read while pretending we’re camping out and found this 8 hour soundtrack of just rain in a tent. We actually fell asleep to this and it was so beautifully calming!
Please enjoy this video and find some calm today and this week! And as always, if you have a favourite feel good video, please share! Remember, the hard feelings you may feel are valid, but you can do little things that can help bring a little brightness and comfort to your day. Be well, sending love xo
Be Your Own Sunshine 